Articles

By Richard Driscoll, Ph.D.

Recent survey reveals that women resent men about twice as often as the other way around. 

Ideological feminists have long accused men of being misogynists, filled with loathing and contempt towards women and unwilling to allow women a fair chance. More recently, "masculinists" or men's rights activists accuse women of being "misandrous," which is an odd and seldom used word for loathing and contempt towards men.

So, which is it? Are we more often misogynists or more often contemptuous toward men? Admittedly, one or the other or both shows itself often enough to pollute a fair share of modern conversation. But which is more commonplace? And how can we provide a reasonable comparison?

A recent 2008 Gallup poll in Great Britain finds that 33% of women "often or very often" feel resentful of men, compared to 14% of men who often feel resentful of women. [i] So fully a third of women carry with them an ongoing resentment toward their opposites, as compared to about a sixth of men. 

In an effort to specify our terms, "often or very often resentful" of the other sex is probably about as close as we can get to the basic meaning of misogyny and misandry. While we commonly argue that women have more reason to be resentful, the comparison here is not about our reasons but about our ongoing attitudes. Twice as many women as men acknowledge often resenting their opposites, suggesting that ill will blows from "W" to "M" more strongly than from "M" to "W".

So why is "misogyny" such a familiar word while "misandry" is so odd and unfamiliar? Some of the explanation is in the paradox of accusation. Women are more inclined to accuse men of malfeasance, while most men are uncomfortable arguing against women and keep their counsel. As in politics anywhere, the harshest and most repetitious accusations usually paint the strongest portrait, leaving the misandrous impression that men frequently resent women while women are innocent commentators to that sad state of affairs.

Another explanation lay in the unusualness of the condition, as we comment on what we find noteworthy and take the rest granted. In an earlier era, the psychiatric term "nymphomania" was applied to the woman who had an inordinate interest in sex, as she was the odd woman out. The complementary term "satyriasis" was seldom used for men, as it was so widely assumed that most men had an inordinate interest in sex that no such psychiatric nomenclature was required.

Back to "misandry." In that fully a third of women are highly resentful of men, and perhaps another third are somewhat resentful, do we really need a special word for it? Or is it so familiar that we take it for granted?

In an earlier era, men referred to women who bash men with the familiar slang words such as "scold," "shrew," and a few even harsher words. Today, now that such strong words are so severely censored, we are left with "misandry," which seems an unfamiliar, highly sanitized, and somewhat technical sounding excuse for a hearty epithet. Is the "misandrous" woman not merely a cleaned-up version of the rock-solid, salt-of-the-Earth shrew of old, that inspired Shakespeare to bring a fiery independent to the stage and pleased a younger Elizabeth Taylor to portray her?

Of course, men can be misandrous too. But we save that for a later time.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Dr. Richard Driscoll graduated from the University of Colorado in 1974, and is in private practice in Knoxville Tennessee.  He specializes in marriage and family therapy, conflict resolution, gender qualities, and spiritual experiences.  Driscoll has recently published "Opposites as Equals" with Nancy Ann Davis.  The authors identify innate differences between men and women, explore their origins, and suggest ways to resolve conflict and join together for our mutual benefit.  Driscoll and Nancy Ann Davis are in practice together, are married, and have three grown children. Richard Driscoll offers free consultation on ways to rise above chivalry and focus instead on benefits to family and community.  Dr. Driscoll is also a pioneer in anxiety reduction, and has published four anxiety reduction training including "Personal Shielding to Deflect Hostility" and "Tame Test Anxiety." His website: theOppositeSex.info and email: drD[SpamBuster]@theOppositeSex.info (remove [SpamBuster] to send e-mail)

[i] The battle of the sexes continues according to new Gallup poll." 2008. See http://www.prnewswire.co.uk/cgi/news/release?id=57662