I want to go on the record as supporting Erik Walden who is a professional football player for the Indianapolis Colts. As a linebacker who stands 6’2 and weighs in at 250 pounds he’s an impressive man. But all that size, strength and his professional level skills weren’t enough to prevent him from being attacked by his ex-girlfriend with a knife who cut his arm. It is reported that his current girlfriend had her arm broken with a baseball bat by the ex-girlfriend. This is the second time that there has been a domestic incident between Walden and the mother of his children.
As a domestic violence survivor Walden is likely going through a number of emotions, but hopefully he’s not feeling shame or guilt. I know it’s easy to look at this large man and say he should have protected himself and his girlfriend, and likely he tried to do something, but just imagine if you will that instead of him being the victim, he had knocked out the attacking ex-girlfriend. Just what would the media have said?
You know it, “here we go again,” “another violent footballer who can’t control his emotions.” I’m not trying to be an apologist for anyone who is abusive, I’m just looking to shed some light on another side of a bilateral equation. In this case, there is a woman who has a history of being violent, who snuck into Walden’s home and waited for him. But would that have been enough to make his defense seem okay? Likely not.
In my experience as a family law attorney who specializes in representing men in domestic violence cases, unless the case is as clear as this one, the man is at a severe disadvantage of biased assumptions. I’ve had the case where the 260 pound man was being beaten and abused by his 130 pound wife, and if she hadn’t drawn blood, and if we didn’t have the photos to prove it, I doubt the court would have issued the restraining order.
Mr. Walden now joins a select group of men, those who are publicly known as domestic violence survivors, he deserves our support at this difficult time in his life for him and his family. We should encourage him to stand tall and speak out against all abuse, for it is only when men like this speak out, that others who are in the shadows will raise their voices and the silent epidemic of domestic abuse against mn will be recognized and stopped.
