Being a cop is a calling
That’s what some people say.
Dealing with humans appalling
Day after day after day.
You didn’t sign up for a desk job
You didn’t go after the greed.
You volunteered to battle the dark
And help other people in need.
You raised your hand and swore an oath
Before your God and man.
That you would run to the sound of the guns
willing and ready to make a stand.
Some people take you for granted
Some disrespect you and lie.
But you are still the one they pray will come
When they think they’re about to die.
The job will only get harder
With enough rules to fill a computer disc.
But one thing for sure will never change
That you’ve only got one asterisk!
So remember the ones who love you
Each day when you strap on your vest.
And know there are those who would hurt you
Be ready to be more than your best.
Even if they shoot first and hit you
Even if they bite off your ear.
Laugh with glee knowing the last thing they’ll see
Is your War Face filling them with fear!
Don’t expect anyone to come save you.
Your fight is yours to win.
Don’t you give up, don’t you ever give up!
Scream them your War Face and win!
How many people will miss you?
Write their names out on a list.
You owe it to them to remember
You only have one ass to risk.
— Sgt. Dave Sauer 2013
I, (name), take you (name), to be my (wife/husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.
As you read these two vows taken, they seem miles apart and that we’re talking about two completely different worlds, that we can never get them to co-exist peacefully together.
Two milestones in the life of a cop, being sworn in as a police officer and taking his wedding vows. In both , in the presence of witnesses and all that he holds sacred, he vows to be true to that that he holds sacred. In the case of the officer, to run toward`the sound of guns and ready to make a stand. In the wedding, to never waver from his devotion to his beloved bride. Vows that we swore we’d keep.
It all seemed so simple then. Be loyal to each but keep those worlds from clashing with each other or allowing either to cause you to disavow your oath. Simple way to do that would be to keep the two worlds separate. But we know from past studies that I cited, the problems that that can cause. So how can we live in two worlds as police officers and balance the pushes and pulls each world has on the other. As I cited in past articles, where the police world starts causing marital problems at home, the officer should seek counselling to help remedy the problems.
But what if the officer or the spouse isn’t comfortable with counselling? Or for that matter, what can the officer and his wife do to avoid having to go to counselling in the first place? For example, what can the wife of an officer do to support her husband, and get him through some of the rough spots he may encounter as a policer officer? As Melissa Littles stated in her article “ The Police Wife Life, Selfish Is Not An Option”: ‘Being the wife of a police officer means you must be dedicated to his love of the job as he is.”
A good place to start would be what is important to the husband and to try to understand and not make light of what seems trivial to a wife. For example, how many wives, if they saw a shield, with a blue line through it and the #1 and an asterisk would know what that meant to her law enforcement husband? To those outside of law enforcement, it means “I have only one ass to risk” (Thin Blue Florida.com, 11/12) meaning that the law enforcement officer can only put himself at risk and no one else, that he has to be careful out there and not risk even himself.(source) This would seem something wives would like to hear because they would like their husbands home safe, but how many care to ask or understand? I’m sure many would probably make light of the symbol thinking it silly or childish for her husband to care about (See Melissa Fuller’s article). Does she understand or care how sacred that symbol is ? Does she understand the ramifications of degrading what is important to her husband? Perhaps if she took more interest in what is important to her husband, he wouldn’t feel he has to avoid conversations about his career.
Another example is the thin blue line. Not that wives are the only ones who misunderstand this symbol, because recent news concerning that symbol showed that not many understand what the thin blue line means to an officer. The wife like so many others, might chime into a conversation and think that it means a brotherhood of police who will not ticket another officer (Wikipedia definition). In fact it is two fields of black separated by a thin blue line. The thin blue line separates the good from the evil in society. Many officers have died defending that line. Sacred to the officer and not known by his wife, comments made by her and others can deeply hurt the officer.
So, as much as we are told that we need to understand what our wives are going through and face every day and as much as the law enforcement husband should take an interest in his wife’s day, so should the wife understand the vows that that officer took when he raised his right hand to uphold the law. The officer must try to share his day and explain things when his wife doesn’t understand why he is upset, or why he’s crying. Because we did take that second vow “ for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health through good times and bad, until death do us part.” We will have difficulty upholding either if we forget why we took those vows.
