Tina Swithin is an Author, Writer and Advocate for change in the Family Court System. In her recent article “Narcissistic Personality Disorder in the Family Court System” for the Huffington Post she brings out the key issues about Narcissism and explains the extreme need for each and every person in the Family Law System (who is examining evidence for cases before them) to understand this disorder. Tina says, “Sadly, many of the untrained observers are the very people who are tasked with deciding the fate of the children caught in the middle of these highly contentious custody battles. A narcissist is like the modern day version of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.”
I did not know about Narcissistic Personality Disorder, nor did I have any idea how dangerous people with this personality disorder, commonly referred to as NPD, could be. That is, until Zain Arcane contacted me after reading my book, “Our Children Come First,” and enlightened me about NPD. Zain has a YouTube channel and website dedicated to freeing victims from the clutches of narcissistic abuse. People have gained a great deal of empowerment through educating themselves with his experience and advice on dealing with NPD. Zain educated me on the traits displayed by those with NPD.
I decided to research Narcissistic Personality Disorder for myself, in the hopes that I could not only learn more about it, but also, so that I could inform others who are suffering from the same situation.
From Wikipedia:
“Persons diagnosed with a Narcissistic Personality Disorder are characterized by unwarranted feelings of self-importance. They have a sense of entitlement and demonstrate grandiosity in their beliefs and behavior. They have a strong need for admiration, but lack feelings of empathy. These qualities are usually defenses against a deep feeling of inferiority and of being unloved.”
The Mayo Clinic says that NPD is characterized by dramatic, emotional behavior, which is in the same category as antisocial and borderline personality disorders.
From the Mayo Cliinic — Narcissistic personality disorder symptoms may include:
•Believing that you’re better than others
•Fantasizing about power, success and attractiveness
•Exaggerating your achievements or talents
•Expecting constant praise and admiration
•Believing that you’re special and acting accordingly
•Failing to recognize other people’s emotions and feelings
•Expecting others to go along with your ideas and plans
•Taking advantage of others
•Expressing disdain for those you feel are inferior
•Being jealous of others
•Believing that others are jealous of you
•Trouble keeping healthy relationships
•Setting unrealistic goals
•Being easily hurt and rejected
•Having a fragile self-esteem
•Appearing as tough-minded or unemotional
In addition to these symptoms, the narcissistic person may display arrogance, show superiority, and seek power over people and situations.
From Daniel A. Bochner, Ph.D. web site, “Narcissism, strangely, is exactly the opposite of what it seems. While the narcissist behaves selfishly and confident in almost every situation, it is his lack of self that makes him act that way. The narcissist grows up in an environment in which vulnerability is unacceptable. Any sign of weakness in this environment is met with disdain and disgust. On the other hand, independent activity is necessary and significant achievements are glorified. Thus, the narcissist develops his personality for the specific and express purpose of achieving recognition and being treated as special. When all goes well, the narcissist is quite successful in this pursuit. Unfortunately, the narcissist can never achieve the one pursuit that is truly worthwhile for him. That is, he can never find his true self.”
Although you may have never heard of NPD, it’s likely you know someone who has the characteristics of a narcissist. Do the symptoms of NPD sound familiar to you? Is it possible that someone close to you is displaying the symptoms of NPD? If so, you may want to further research how a person suffering with NPD acts, and how to react to their disturbing, controlling, and often violent behavior. Aside from family law, unfortunately, it seems that narcissism affects more than personal relationships, families, or careers. There are narcissists everywhere, from leaders in our government, to other world leaders…and those in power. When informed of NPD, this makes sense when considering that narcissists do anything they can to seek power.
Narcissism is a behavior that should not be allowed in family courts, associated with any representative of the court, and with the spouses involved – who display this behavior. And yet, narcissism has most definately found its way into our Family Law system. Children’s best interests are often being dangerously and brutally pushed aside. More professionals need to educate themselves and the people they have working for them as to the devistating effects of narcisism in deciding family law cases. Our children depend on us and it is time for everyone to pay more attention to their needs, as they are our future.
